


Pancakes

by ghastlygrimoire



Series: Birds of a Feather [2]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Depression, Gen, References to Depression, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 13:10:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12366504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghastlygrimoire/pseuds/ghastlygrimoire
Summary: In the midst of a depressive episode, Akechi makes the one food that always comfort him: pancakes.





	Pancakes

The gnawing in Akechi’s stomach woke him up from the sixth nap he had taken that day. With a groan, he kicked the covers off of him. His cellphone was on his desk, right where he had left it. The battery was likely dead by now, he hadn’t touched it for five days. Or was it seven? Eight? 

He had quit keeping track. 

Akechi swung his legs over the side of his bed. The minute his left foot touched the floor, he immediately regretted it. The sorrow he sought respite from flooded him. There were no more tears to cry, but the lump in his throat returned all the same. He squeezed his lips together to force down the urge to cry out for his mother like a child. 

How pathetic. 

He was seventeen years old! His mother decided she would be better off dead ten years ago, decided to leave this cruel world behind to get away from… from… 

But what he wouldn’t give to be able to run into his mother’s arms, like so many children were able to. Yet that was impossible, so he settled for the next best thing. 

A deep breath, then Akechi stood up. Right, left, right, left… he marched into the tidy kitchen. For the past few days, he had only sparsely eaten protein bars, and he was getting sick of them. It wasn’t the flavor, more so the task of eating it. The next time he saw a box of them in his house, he’d shove them to the back of the cupboard, never to be seen again. He rifled through the pans below the counter, searching for the perfect sized pan. When he found it, he pulled it out and set it on top of a burner. 

Then he grabbed a large bowl and the flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, and eggs. There was no need for a recipe, he had done this so many times he had memorized it. Serenity flowed through him as he went through the recipe, the familiarity of the routine soothing his aching heart and dissolving the lump in his throat. 

_His mother absolutely loved making pancakes, on the rare occasion she hadn’t locked herself inside of her room. The first time she had done it, she was in a good mood. He had never known why and he didn’t think he’d ever learn why, but it was a welcome change from the constant cold shoulder. When she had set that plate in front of him, he had blinked at it in confusion._

_“What’s this?” He asked._

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_“Pancakes!” His mother chirped._

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_“For me?” She hardly cooked. Dinner always consisted of sandwiches he made himself._

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_“Why, yes, for you!” She said._

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_“Well… er… thank you for the food." He had heard kids say that when it was lunch time. He took the fork in his fist and stabbed it. It wasn’t every day he used these, and they always felt awkward in his hands._

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_His mother stifled a laugh._

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_“No, Goro, not like that!” She disappeared and came back, holding a plate of her own pancakes in it. “Here, I’ll show you.” Taking a seat across from him, she grasped the knife and fork in each hand, one finger resting on it to steady it, and bent her wrists. “Mirror me.” He did as she asked, and she smiled. “Good, like that. Now, first, use your fork to get the pancakes in place…” Akechi craned his neck, trying to see. Her fork was only a few centimeters from the outer edge of the pancake. “Now just slice a piece off around the fork…” She moved her knife like she was using her finger to paint something. “And there you have it!” < She triumphantly held up her fork a piece of pancake attached to it. Akechi was so amazed, he dropped his cutlery and clapped in awe. His mother smiled and nodded, and then ate the piece. _

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_Akechi, determined to get it right, did just as she instructed. After a few minutes of struggling to cut into the pancake stack (it was so thick!), he raised the piece of pancake that he had successfully skewered onto his fork. “Look, Mommy, I did it!”_

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_“You did!” She put her own cutlery down and applauded for him. His arm was getting tired, so he pulled it back and put the piece of pancake into his mouth._

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_“Wow, it’s so good!” He said, diving back into the pancakes._

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_“Goro, don’t talk with your mouth full.” She scolded, but the novelty of his mother eating dinner with him for the first time overrode any feelings of shame or embarrassment._

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_“Mommy, its really good!” He said._

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_“Thank you, Goro.” She said, smiling at him. “Do you want some syrup?”_

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_“Nope! I like them like this!” He said, taking another bite._

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If his mother was here now… what would she say? Would she eat his pancakes, and applaud him if they were good? Or would he just have to put it in front of her door and hope she ate them? He wished he knew. He wished she was here, even if she stayed in her room, so that he had someone to talk to, and vice versa. He could have made up for the shame she endured because of him, by winning every award schools offered. He would have been student council president. He would have gotten to the top colleges, teachers clamoring to write him a letter of recommendation. He would have made her proud.

He would have made her want to continue living. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know the pancakes comment was overhyped by the fandom and it was just one comment in the entire game but I really couldn't help myself.
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated.


End file.
